March 12, 2013 by Liberty
I have a set policy in life to never work hourly for above minimum wage. It instills good habits to ensure that I spend my time doing things that really matter instead of focusing on selling time for money. I spent my time at the doldrums of minimum wage and I’ve learned a lot from those experiences. One of the most fundamental lessons that I’ve learned is that minimum wage only benefits those that take advantage of the system but I’m currently going through a bit of a change in my life.
I’m trying to look at the positives of these negative systems. I’m taking up the “grapes that I can’t reach are sour” mentality. So instead of a bit of a rant on minimum wage, I’m going to be aiming to look at the positives.
Working For Minimum Wage
I knew it in my gut as I was working. I consistently worked and worked while the people around me were going into the back room and making and snorting lines of some pain pill or something. I would work and work and work and they would scrape by. Occasionally the bosses would get on their back but by the end of the night I normally did about twice the work of the average employee. I was being paid minimum wage at the time. There were other employees like me there too. We were making the same amount as the less work inclined people but we worked significantly more. It always irked me. I didn’t quite understand all of the factors at the time but I knew that something wasn’t right.
Minimum wage is one of the most damaging government regulations there is. It is 100% discriminatory. It causes insane problems with immigration. It is responsible for increases in unemployment. It makes people facing challenges in life completely unemployable. It creates a skills gap. It works as a barrier to entry for entrepreneurs. Minimum wage is a disgusting policy when you get into the nitty gritty details of it. How could an increase in minimum wage possibly do good things?
Well… If you’re thinking like that too then you need to come with me on a journey to the other side of pessimism into the prairie lands of optimism. This is the way an increase in minimum wage would help.
More Attractive Men(and Women) In Suits
While politics had a history of downright ugly individuals, the trend is beginning to improve as the attractiveness of politicians becomes more and more apparent. Thankfully, these days, downright hideous politicians like Abraham Lincoln or Grover Cleveland wouldn’t stand a chance.
An increase in minimum wage leads to an increase in political confidence by the majority of the population. Despite their lack of job opportunities, the increases in cost of living, and their feeling of complete hopelessness, they will still believe in the power of attractive men and women in suits. In fact, more and more people will become more and more dependent on the sweet relief of the bell like Pavlov’s dog. Mmm mmm mmm. “We better vote this year or someone might try to take advantage of us.”
It is definitely a positive to see more attractive people in politics. A few more years down the line and watching politicians on television might actually have a productive use. (Yes… I meant it that way.)
Unfair Advantages For People Without Disadvantages
While I normally think about the negative side of this, people that are qualified to work will see an advantage in their job opportunities. That means if you’re lucky enough to be white, basically competent, male, and not disabled, you’ll be able to make more than what the free market would provide. While it may all get eaten up by the government, you do get the psychological advantage that you feel like you’re making more than the poor disadvantaged that can’t even find a job.
It’s like you’re being offered a head start. Now… you might not need the head start but, by golly, you could use it if you want to. Pretty useful. Now all you have to do is gain a few more sociopathic tendencies and you’ll be set up for greatness! (You might even become a politician.)
The Middle Class Will Get More Chance To Help The Poor
Don’t we all love the opportunity to help. I remember a year ago when I was mugged in the streets of Chicago. He took my wallet by gun point and ran off. I felt so bad because I knew my watch was worth a lot of money and he forgot to take it. It’s terrible when we don’t get the chance to help those less fortunate than us but these days, we’re going to get more people to help then ever.
The increase in minimum wage will cause a great percentage of the population to become unemployable. That means more people on the government doll! We’ll get the chance to support more of the people around the country that don’t get jobs. This is a great chance to do more good for those that don’t give two hoots about you. We all know the best kind of reward is not getting any at all. Things like appreciation just get in the way of being great and noble people… right?…
More Underworld Economies
When people can’t legally work they often try to find other ways of making money. Many of them end up working in the fields that government doesn’t allow. That means that your drugs are going to become easier and easier to access as competition increases. That also means the price of your local prostitute is going to collapse. That means more sex with less money. That’s amazing right?!
It also means that more and more illegal immigrants are going to be working under the table to take more and more American jobs. That means, we won’t only be supporting the historically poor but the skilled trades population as well. Illegal work will become more and more beneficial.
In fact, doesn’t the idea of working in an illegal enterprise make something inside you tingle. Sounds fun right? Good thing.
Faster Collapse of The System
One of the greatest benefits of a raise in minimum wage would be the increased velocity towards the ultimate outcome. It’s almost like we’re riding in a bus towards a cliff. Ideally, we should turn the wheel but if that’s not an option then we might as well speed up and end the suffering a little faster.
It’s a little like giving up the crutch. An increase in minimum wage would be a bit of pain but eventually we might actually fix the problem.
Confidence in the system is getting lower and lower by the year. It’s just a matter of time until the house of cards takes a topple and the bus flies off the cliff. (Too many metaphors sorry) It’s best we accept the fact and try to keep our fingerprints off the steering wheel. That will just bring the blame to those trying to save the day.
I hope you learned a little bit about thinking positive through this experience. The next time that a politician suggests that they want to increase the minimum wage you should smile and enjoy the positives of the situation. You can worry about feeding your family some other time. It’s not like the politicians are even going to be able to enforce their laws in a few years anyway. Life is good.
That is how an increase in minimum wage would be a good thing!