SFR – 400% Increase in employment, Cops smashing windshields for you, Justin Biebers new album isn’t about 12 year olds.Leave a comment
April 26, 2013 by Liberty
The president’s “Bringing Jobs To America” plan has passed the house and is expected to pass the senate later today. They’re expecting this plan to take effect starting 6 months after passage. This plan is expected to increase employment in America by 400%. We discussed this plan in detail with Senator Mahone and he explained it to us this way: for the first six months government employees will be measuring the productivity of every person employed in America. After getting measured for productivity, all employees will be required to cutback their productivity by a minimum of 75%. That will lead to employers needing to hire 3 other employees to get the same amount of work done. The independent government economic evaluation of this plan has referred to it as genius. A small minority is arguing this is about imprisoning people that provide too much productivity for their employers. In response the senator said quote “We have no intention of locking people up for over productivity. They’ll just be required to complete an extra government mandated work program whenever they’re going to exceed their maximum 25% productivity.”
The National Defense Organization has recently announced their own job plan. Federal funding for parking violations that kicked in last year prompted a large increase in government employment. In hopes to continue the jobs increase, police will now be smashing the windshield whenever they give a parking violation. Government smashed windshields may only be repaired at a government approved repair facility. To pay for this extra service provided, ticket prices are expected to rise by 25%.
America dropped a bomb in Lickastan killing 75 civilian terrorists.
In more important news: Justin Bieber is expected to release his new album entitled, “Listen To Me… NOW.” Sales of this album are expected to exceed his previous album “It doesn’t matter if she’s 12. It’s Love.”
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